If Lagos Locations Were Exes
Lagos is a city where the places you visit have personality. From beaches to brunch spots, every location gives off a vibe and honestly, some of them remind us of exes we swore we left behind. Toxic, sweet, expensive, fun, stressful… they all exist here.
So let’s play a little game: if Lagos locations were your exes, here’s who they’d be.
Sol Beach – The Fine One That’ll Empty Your Wallet
They look good, they know it, and you’ll spend half your salary just to sit beside them. Sol Beach is that ex who takes you out, feeds you vibes, and then leaves your account in tears. But admit it, you’d still go back.
Brass & Copper – The Toxic But Addictive Ex
Messy ribs, cocktails that make you forget your problems, and shisha smoke that makes everything look prettier than it actually is. Brass & Copper is that ex you know is bad for you, but the vibes are just too sweet to resist. You leave promising yourself you won’t return… but we both know you will.
Maple Lagos – The Instagrammable Ex
This is the one who’s fine on the ‘gram, fine in real life, and will have you dressing up just to sit across from them. Chicken & waffles? Blackened salmon? Brunch that looks like it belongs in a magazine? Maple Lagos is that ex you still stalk online and secretly want back.
Dream Park & Gardens (Ikorodu) – The Fun But Exhausting Ex
This ex always wants to “do something”: VR games, swimming, movies, trampoline, gym, food runs. Fun? Absolutely. But by the end, you’re too tired to function. Dream Park is that high-energy ex you lowkey loved but just couldn’t keep up with.
Barracuda Beach – The Sweet But Far Ex
They meant well, they gave you peace, but the distance? Omo. Barracuda Beach is that ex who lived just far enough that every visit felt like a long-distance relationship. Worth it when you get there, but stressful to maintain.
Kalakuta Museum – The Deep, Intense Ex
This one has stories, culture, and history that’ll leave you thinking about life. They’re not just vibes; they’ll make you sit down, reflect, and maybe even argue philosophy. Kalakuta is that ex who left you with quotes, memories, and a little bit of trauma too.
Cakes and Cream – The Sweet Ex Who Still Texts You on Your Birthday
Reliable, comforting, and always there when you need them. Cakes and Cream is that ex you can’t even hate because they were just too sweet. You’ll always find your way back to them.
Upbeat Recreation Centre – The FitFam Ex
The one who wakes up at 6AM to jog, drinks only smoothies, and convinces you to “just try wall climbing.” Upbeat is the ex who made you sweat… in every sense of the word.
Final Thoughts
So, be honest, are you running back to the sweet one (Cakes & Cream), the fine one (Sol Beach), or the toxic-but-addictive one (Brass & Copper)? 👀
Because in Lagos, just like with exes, sometimes we know better… but the vibes are simply too good to resist.
